Alternate News

Bumped into Holly after lunch on my way to prayers, yet again.

So today was another system training day. Kinda interesting, seeing as how I managed to learn loads from a guy whose been using the system for 3 months. Beats the hell out of reading a 345 page book.

So there are a few other issues to bring that have been bugging me as I read this orange book entitled "Federation Constitution", in other words our perlembagaan negara.

A few things I can say:

A lot of people don't follow it.

I don't even think the politicians do.

from house:
Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. Not going to happen.

"It really sucks to be a chicken today, when if you get a cold, people will kill you."

"Samy Vellu should retire, I mean, he's already in the finals for the "Survivor: Malaysia MPs"..but then, it is between him and Rafidah Aziz, and judging by the amount of shit they've both stirred up, who knows who'll win"

"When a DAP MP questioned why the contractor who fucked up the MRR2 was granted another contract, Samy Vellu replied and I quote: If a doctor gave a shot to patients and one patient died, you won't revoke his license, right?

Well, if I paid a doctor millions of ringgit to get an injection and he killed me, what the fuck do you think would happen?!"

"Pak Lah went to say that the money saved by decreasing the petrol subsidy would be used to improve the public transportation system....I'm sorry, that was too frickin' funny......"

"I don't have a girlfriend. I simply have girl friends....safe to say, I'm not fucking up...hell, I'm not fucking at all!"

"Sepet was really nice..but when I watched it in the cinema, I think I heard Samy Vellu asking "Where's the Indian guy?!""

"The main difference between a cow and a woman is that you can squeeze the formers breast without getting slapped...plus, you won't gag while drinking the milk..."

"I tried to join a gym, but they said I had to have a credit card. I tried to make a credit card, and they told me I had to make a minimum of 20,000 bucks a year. So I went to ask for a raise, and got fired...shows you that getting into a gym can fuck up your life."

"I named a cat 'Anorexia', but then it got fat, so now I have no idea what to call it"

"Computers introduced me to Solitaire and Pinball. I never thought I could play the former with a real deck of cards..."

"I love Starbucks, every time I go there I order a venti sized hot chocolate, then I try to sit at a table and pretend I'm Dave Letterman.."

"Amazing ain't it? In 1998 everyone was mentioning the Bakun dam, and now nobody gives a damn?"

"I'm a social drinker, I do apologize..I sometimes get drunk drinking Coke and soda water."

"A male dogs a bastard, a female dogs a bitch, right? What about cats? Are they gay? Is that why there are no separation between the sexes?"

"The morning train is so jammed these days, sardines were asking me to join them in the can because there was more room."

"I recently read that the new Superman movie had to be delayed because they had to edit the size of Superman's *ahem* pouch...apparently superheroes can't be virile nor have a hard on..."

"I took Mandarin as a third language in college, but I can't seem to remember what I've learned.."

"People say I'm a racist for saying out loud things that come to my mind,like, why is a broken promise called a Malay promise, or, when someone tells untruths, it's called speaking keling..."

"Someone once asked me if I was gay...to which I answered "No,sorry"..now thinking about it? Why the fuck did I say sorry to that dyke..?"

"I go night walking, and I sing, and it rains...I hope there isn't a connection..or people in Batu Tiga will be trying to lynch me"

"I support the MSC by leaving my computer online 24 hours a day, so people can download my stuff and promote it all to hell"